TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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