that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
