Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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