I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
