If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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