I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
