I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
if only i could text you this smell
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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