Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I want to have your abortion
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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