Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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