My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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