I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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