I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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