My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
