How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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