i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
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