I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
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