the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
