Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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