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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
