I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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