Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
