I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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