Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Hello my rib-scented angel!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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