Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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