bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
