And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
