He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
