What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
