I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I wish i was in the wii world.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
