Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
