For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
