He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We are two peas in an std pod
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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