This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
