She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
