I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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