I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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