i can't believe i had my finger in that
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
