omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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