I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
