Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
