fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
