Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
