i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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