Who did Billy Mays play for?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
