Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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