he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
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