Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
