did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
