I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
