Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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