Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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